One Shots To The Journy Of Life
by saturngalaxy
Summary: A series of "one shots" about the lifes of Patsy and Delia. How they got together, missing moments, past experiences, and more. (English is not my first language. It would mean the world to me if you could leave me writting tips! I' ve only just started writting stories :))
1. Chapter 1

_**3 years. 1095 days. That's how long it took her to finally come clean with her feelings for Delia Busby. At the beginning there was a lot of denial and then came the pain, but it was worth it. So worth it. The development of her feelings was the scariest thing she had ever had to go through. She had no guidance; it wasn't like she could just ask for advice. It also meant that she had to open herself, something she had never done before, or at least in a long time. Patience Mount was lost, but eventually she found the way.**_

It all started in 1955. Delia was 18, I was 22. I was practically on my way to being a nurse and she was just starting her journey. Every year, the eldest students were supposed to show the new ones around. She wasn't there yet, she was late. I later found out that her train had a malfunction. So Matron asked me to take her when she arrived. Just the two of us. You and me. Alone. She was cheeky and liked to tease a lot. Everyone knew I was someone not to be messed with, but since the beginning she saw right past through that, didn't care about what the other girls had to say about me.

That's how we became friends. We didn't become close immediately. We started by greeting each other, swapping lecture - notes, sharing a cup of tea. She had her group of friends and I had mine, sort of.

Ever since I laid my eyes on her, I felt something that I hadn't felt before. I couldn't place into words what it was. I knew that I enjoyed her company, liked her personality and… that I wanted to be around her. Those feelings grew, stronger and stronger. At first, I chose to ignore them, pretend that I didn't know what was happening. I have always been scared of the unknown. But after a year things couldn't be ignored anymore.

One ordinary day, after finishing my shift, I found Delia sitting on a bench looking absolutely broken. I stopped right then and there not knowing what do. I've never been good at comforting people. But I couldn't leave her, no like that, not ever.

I sat down next to her, trying not to startle her. _Should I hug her? Hold her hand? Offer her a hankie? Talk to her?_ My thoughts were all over the place, but I had to do something for God's sake! I decided to stop thinking and take her in my arms. I could sense how hard she was trying to stay in control of water it was that was troubling her. After some comforting words, she just broke down sobbing in my arms. After some time of pure silent, I noticed it had gotten colder and neither of us had a coat. We went to my bedroom, I hold her again while she cried. We didn't speak, it wasn't necessary. And it was okay.

That's when it hit me, hard. Right then and there. I wanted to be comforting Delia. I wanted to make her feel better when something was wrong. I also wanted to be the one to make her smile. I wanted this.


	2. Chapter 2

_**The aftermath, Patsy being alone with her thoughts.**_

Shortly after my realization, I left her so abruptly. I just had to be alone. I can't even remember what lame excuse I used. It's just that I couldn't let her see, not like this. She always, always could look me right in the eyes and see if something was bothering me.

As soon I entered my room, everything began spinning, the room, the walls, my thoughts, everything. I didn't even know I had reached my bed, until I fell hard on it. I was numb, completely numb. It was like out of nowhere I couldn't think straight, I just couldn't function. But then I snapped out of it, everything came swirling around, a sea of every sort of thoughts. A hurricane of feelings.

 _I like... I, Patience Mount, like someone. I like her. I like Delia Busby. It Can't be true. No, there's not even a chance of it._

 _Who was I kidding? This, these things that I was feeling, were exactly what everyone talked about when they fancied someone. Oh God. No._

I was a complete mess. Too much, too soon. I wasn't prepared to have such revelations. I couldn't even breathe. I was in the middle of a panic attack. I grabbed the sheets, anything nearby. Anything I could hold on to have control back. After some time, I regained my breath and calmed myself down, as much as I could, given the circumstances.

This never happened to me. To think of someone in this way, like this. I never thought I had it en me, I never thought I was able to. I never thought someone could be so beautiful, so caring, so funny, so intelligent, and so sensible. _God. Now there is no turning back. I admitted it._

 _I am completely smitten by her._

But then came the worse. For the second time that night, I had realized something. Delia was a woman. A woman, not a man. She could never know about my feelings. Nobody could. She could never understand. She won't be able to bear it. I could ruin her carrier. The last thing that I wanted was to hurt her. I didn't care about me. I have suffered already; somehow I went through that, I was going to go through this. But she could never know. Never.

 _What do I do now? Stop talking to her? Pretend like this never happened?_ After some minutes or maybe even hours, I came to a decision. I had to pretend. I was good at that. Delia Busby was the most important person in my life, my best friend after all. She made my life easier. The thing I value the most is our friendship. I couldn't lose that, couldn't lose her.

My decision was made. Even if it was going to hurt, I wanted Delia to be part of my life.

After that, I couldn't sleep. I felt numb again and everything, all at ones.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Delia always liked to think that she was assertive, determinate, that she knew what she wanted. It was true, for the most part. Except for one aspect of her life: her love life.**_

Ever since I was little, everyone always told me how my life was supposed to look like. "The perfect little life of every village girl". That's what every girl in Wales was supposed to want: a man, a wedding, a house, children and all of those things. It seemed as though it was the only thing to think about. Every little girl would dream about it. I just couldn't. Well, I mean, I thought about them. But I had my own way of thinking about this. I knew that I wanted to get married, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with "the one and only". But for some reason I could never put a face to the person I would do those things with. In fact for the longest time it was just a shadowy figure.

When I was young, all I cared about was running through the fields, climbing trees and being as free as I could. At first, I had to do all of this alone because not many girls seemed to want to. I didn't care about it, I was having fun. Although my mother didn't like it very much. I never doubted myself. I knew that I liked doing that, so I wasn't going to stop.

As I grew up, I formed my group of friends. We all had one main characteristic in common, but we chose to show it differently. We all wanted to change the way we were told to live, we didn't quiet agree with live expectations. We all thought that there was a lot more behind Wales. We had different backgrounds and families, we had different hobbies. But we cared for each other, and most important, we understood each other.

We were all very close, but Aeron and I lived next to each other and we became closer. We often met up at night just to talk about how great it would be to explore the word, and we were the only ones to actually be making plans to make those dreams come true.

I thought of him as a brother. But when I was 17, I learnt that he thought much more of me.

On an ordinary day, he built up the courage to tell how he truly felt. He told me, that he liked me, loved me even. Without much of a warning, he was kissing me. I was shocked. I didn't feel much. It felt right, I suppose. Everyone in town always kept talking about how we would end up together. So I thought that was what it was supposed to happen. Ever since the begging it felt good, right even, but something was missing, something deeper.

I have always wanted to fight the stereotypical way of living life, but at the same time, I couldn't. Not on this situation. Not with Aeron. I had all this questions; I believed he was the answer. _Why am I not interested in boys? Why don't I fancy them?_

I thought he could make that old shadowy figure come to life.

That was far from the truth.


End file.
